Random Facts of Uselessness #9

Wow. I haven't posted in forever. Sorry folks. I just got back from my lovely vacation and now I have to go back to school shopping.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crudpickles, it's really thundering currently as I'm writing this. As if I haven't gotten enough rain already. Can we please send some rain to California? They desperately need rain out there.

Where was I going with this post? Oh yes, the facts.

• The strongest human muscle in proportion to its size is the tongue. One tongue curl, two tongue curls... 100!
• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps blood out into the body to squirt blood 30 feet. Who needs water guns when you have your heart?
• All porcupines float in water. Sorry, nothing witty to say about that. I do have a video of adorable baby hedgehogs sneezing to show you! Not exactly porcupines, but still adorable!

• Rats and horses can't vomit. Ummm, that's, uh, weird.
• Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. I'm sure there are a whole bunch of witty things I could say about that one, but I don't have the patience right now to actually use my brain. Hehe.

By the way, the n, h, y, and u keys on my keyboard sometimes refuse to work. I'm literally left sitting there repeatedly pressing the keys like:

Function. Function. Function. Function. Function. FUNCTION!!!!! I JUST WANT AN H IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!

Now the j key won't work. KENOFENOWSDNKFJOEANBGSOIALJHABIGKJENPODSHIFK!!!!!!

Little fyi for you. Whenever I talk in jibberish (see above ^) I'm either really excited, or really angry. Guess which one I am right now? >:(

Oh, and sometimes when I view my blog, my photos won't load. Now that's frustrating.

Wow, I have no idea what just happened. Like I started writing this with an idea in mind, and then I just let my thoughts and fingers run wild. It started out good, then it thundered. I then got it back on track just to end me ranting about my stupid keyboard and blog photos. Eh, whatever.

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

Why do I Have to Read a Book on Ebola? WHY????

I am so done with my summer homework.

As part of my biology summer assignment, I have to read "The Hot Zone" by Richard Preston, which is about Ebola. Let me tell you, I'm barely twenty pages into this thing and it's already scaring me. The book describes in detail someone with the Marburg virus, which is like Ebola's less severe younger sibling. It is one of the grossest things I have ever read in my entire life, and I haven't even gotten to someone with Ebola yet.

If you're squeemish, stop reading NOW! Trust me. I'll let you know when you can come back.

This book describes a person on a plane with bruises all over his face. He then began to throw up "black vomit", which is basically blood with black flecks in it. It says he looked like he ate coffee grounds. The author describes the man's red, bulging eyes. It even describes the bag which the man threw up in! 

Then, when the man gets to the hospital, the author describes how a doctor performs surgery on the man. It says the man's organs are liquefied, like the man was a living corpse. The really gross part is that the man throws up in the doctor's mouth. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

You can come back now. I'm done.

Thank you, biology teacher, for forcing me to read such a fascinating book. I thoroughly enjoyed my late-night sessions of almost throwing up in the bathroom while trying to read this book. However, now I am paranoid of everything and everyone, which explains the hazmat suit I'm wearing and the 30 page essay I wrote to the principal on why hazmat suits should be our school's uniform. Thanks to you, no one can touch me without me running away screaming "EBOLA! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!". I really appreciated this "enlightening" summer assignment. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go live the rest of my life in isolation. 

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tiny bit. But only a tiny bit.

Random funny story: Last year, my history teacher made us create a political cartoon. So I drew a picture of President Obama, declaring Ebola is nothing to fear. In front of a Ebola quarantine area. While wearing a hazmat suit. YUP NOTHING TO FEAR!

From my corner to yours, 

Jennifer Whyskers

P.S. I already started writing my letter to the principal on our uniforms. Hazmat suits should be mandatory.

GAH IM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!!!!

I've obsessed with this game called Agar.io. The problem is, it's frustrating me to no end. The point of the game is to eat smaller circles so you can get bigger. You start out really small and fast, and as you get bigger you get slower. And every time I start to get really big, some jerk decides to eat me! IT'S SO FRUSTRATING BUT ITS ADDICTING TOOOOOO!

Basically, if you have a really nice computer, don't play it. Cause you'll want to smash your computer.

Also, some of the names people pick to be are very hurtful and offensive. (I normally stick to Taylor Swift, cause who would want to eat Taylor Swift? Apparently EVERYBODY!) Some of them, on the other hand, are pretty funny. Like "Please don't eat me!" and then I eat them.

What's also really fun is that there is a team mode where you are assigned one of three colors- red, green, or blue. You then try to take over the playing field as a team. So you have allies that can help you not get eaten. (I still end up dying.)

You can also somehow input a skin for your circle, but I don't know how to do that. So don't ask me. I think you have to go through Facebook, but don't quote me on that.

So far my high score is 800-something. Take that! Just kidding, I'm sure you can totally beat me.

So, if you ever find yourself in need of something to do, try Agar.io! It's really fun and addicting. Once again: I would strongly advise you not to play on a nice computer in case you pull a Wreck-it-Ralph.

I'm gonna wreck my computer because this stupid game is frustrating me so much!

Anyway, have fun with Agar.io. Oh, and if you happen to see a Taylor Swift circle, please don't eat it! It's probably me. I'M JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE ON MY OWN!

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

P.S. USA IS GOING TO THE FINALS AGAINST JAPAN IN THE WOMEN'S WORLD CUP!!!!!!! 

Random Facts of Uselessness #8

I've been thrown into this vicious sleep cycle. Every day, I can't sleep until about one in the morning. Then I wake up at nine or ten. Later on, at about four in the afternoon, I find myself so fatigued that I have to take a nap. Then, I can't sleep. Problem is, I'm too lazy to do anything about it.

Hello everyone! It's been a while, hasn't it?

• Banging your head against the wall burns about 150 calories per hour. What about a desk?
• When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. How does that even work? Like is their sweat magically psychic or something?
• You will produce enough saliva in your lifetime to fill two swimming pools. Um, gross? Certainly not looking forward to jumping in that refreshing pool.
• About 8,000 Americans are injured by musical instruments. Good thing I no longer play the flute.
• A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale. What? You should see the face I'm making right now typing this. It looks something like this:
  

Have fun spreading those facts around the world!

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

So...... I'm Valedictorian... (And don't you dare delete my pictures)

Hello!

I found out about this a while ago but I've just been too "busy" (AKA, lazy) to actually type this out. But today I decided to because I don't want to clean my room either.

Anyway, on Monday, I will be graduating from middle school. I also, as the title says, am valedictorian. Was I shocked? Not necessarily. I've always had straight A's, so I always felt I had a shot at being valedictorian. There was one other boy who I thought might win it because he also was on the high honor roll for most of the year. What was really surprising was that boy didn't win salutatorian. My friend did. Not that my friend isn't smart, she is. I just expected it to be the other boy. (Girl power right here: All four years that I've been in middle school, both the valedictorian and salutatorian of the graduating classes were girls.)

The sucky part? I have to write a speech. And say that speech at graduation. Basically my friend and I FaceTimed each other and complained how we didn't want to write the speech to procrastinate actually writing the speech. Ugh.

But, because I'm a nerd, I included Harry Potter quotes in my speech. I also tried to add tiny bits of humor so it's not boring. I really don't think I succeeded, but whatever.

While trying to write my speech, I contacted one of my friends who was valedictorian last year. She told me to remember that my speech should pretty much say, "Whelp, it was fun while it lasted, but I hate you all and good luck with the rest of your lives." I didn't say that, by the way.

The best part of being valedictorian? I hold the power. Since the valedictorian speech is at the end, I am the reason that people can't leave and go home to their nice houses. Basically, you better be nice to me, or I'll just keep rambling on for hours. Hehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On an unrelated note, I'm annoyed at my high school. They expect us to get our summer homework offline, but don't give us our schedules to know what classes we need to get the homework from. Logic.

Also unrelated: I got really annoyed at someone the other day. He was looking at a picture off my phone. When he gave it back to me, I realized he deleted most of my pictures. He told me he just deleted some useless selfies and pictures. Um, I'm sorry, but my pictures of Taylor Swift are not useless! Then, he had the audacity to say she sucks. >:( Oh my god did I want to kill him. Thank god I have iOS 8 so I can recover deleted pictures. Oh, and I'm sorry, it's my phone, don't you dare delete my pictures. It's one thing if it's a picture of just you, but pictures of me in DC with my friends? Seriously? He's lucky I had to leave, because I would have strangled him. KABJLEFRHKJABKKLHRBJLERGFKHFJEH!

That's my rage right there. I write jibberish when I'm really excited, or really, really, REALLY angry. Guess which one I am right now.

Wow, I ended way off topic. Guess that's what happens sometimes.

From my corner of the world to yours,

Now We Have Bad Blood for Centuries

If you haven't figured it out yet, I really, really, REALLY like Taylor Swift. Also, I am kind of obsessed with Fall Out Boy. Not once did I think, "Would it sound good if they just happened to be mashed together?" because I thought that their styles wouldn't mesh well. Taylor is poppy and upbeat, while Fall Out Boy is a little more rock and roll. Those won't blend well. Wrong.

Enter Bad Blood vs. Centuries. How did I survive without this? That's right, I didn't. I have died and gone to music heaven. And the genius who came up with this? Genius. The songs fit so perfectly it's like they were made for each other. I'm obsessed with Taylor mashups at the moment and this one is by far my favorite. Now, someone needs to put Centuries to the tune of Bad Blood and see how it fits. I bet you it's amazing. I'll go as far to say I'll bet you five bucks it's amazing.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

I probably should have seen this coming. I mean, Victoria Secret Fashion Show anyone?

Best performance EVER!!!!!!!! They need to team up more often. 

Also, this is kind of adorable. :)

Now the only thing that would make this better is if Taylor performed the Bad Blood mashup with Fall Out Boy at my graduation party. Too much? Hey, a girl can dream.

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers