Random Facts of Uselessness #9

Wow. I haven't posted in forever. Sorry folks. I just got back from my lovely vacation and now I have to go back to school shopping.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crudpickles, it's really thundering currently as I'm writing this. As if I haven't gotten enough rain already. Can we please send some rain to California? They desperately need rain out there.

Where was I going with this post? Oh yes, the facts.

• The strongest human muscle in proportion to its size is the tongue. One tongue curl, two tongue curls... 100!
• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps blood out into the body to squirt blood 30 feet. Who needs water guns when you have your heart?
• All porcupines float in water. Sorry, nothing witty to say about that. I do have a video of adorable baby hedgehogs sneezing to show you! Not exactly porcupines, but still adorable!

• Rats and horses can't vomit. Ummm, that's, uh, weird.
• Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. I'm sure there are a whole bunch of witty things I could say about that one, but I don't have the patience right now to actually use my brain. Hehe.

By the way, the n, h, y, and u keys on my keyboard sometimes refuse to work. I'm literally left sitting there repeatedly pressing the keys like:

Function. Function. Function. Function. Function. FUNCTION!!!!! I JUST WANT AN H IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!

Now the j key won't work. KENOFENOWSDNKFJOEANBGSOIALJHABIGKJENPODSHIFK!!!!!!

Little fyi for you. Whenever I talk in jibberish (see above ^) I'm either really excited, or really angry. Guess which one I am right now? >:(

Oh, and sometimes when I view my blog, my photos won't load. Now that's frustrating.

Wow, I have no idea what just happened. Like I started writing this with an idea in mind, and then I just let my thoughts and fingers run wild. It started out good, then it thundered. I then got it back on track just to end me ranting about my stupid keyboard and blog photos. Eh, whatever.

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

Why do I Have to Read a Book on Ebola? WHY????

I am so done with my summer homework.

As part of my biology summer assignment, I have to read "The Hot Zone" by Richard Preston, which is about Ebola. Let me tell you, I'm barely twenty pages into this thing and it's already scaring me. The book describes in detail someone with the Marburg virus, which is like Ebola's less severe younger sibling. It is one of the grossest things I have ever read in my entire life, and I haven't even gotten to someone with Ebola yet.

If you're squeemish, stop reading NOW! Trust me. I'll let you know when you can come back.

This book describes a person on a plane with bruises all over his face. He then began to throw up "black vomit", which is basically blood with black flecks in it. It says he looked like he ate coffee grounds. The author describes the man's red, bulging eyes. It even describes the bag which the man threw up in! 

Then, when the man gets to the hospital, the author describes how a doctor performs surgery on the man. It says the man's organs are liquefied, like the man was a living corpse. The really gross part is that the man throws up in the doctor's mouth. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

You can come back now. I'm done.

Thank you, biology teacher, for forcing me to read such a fascinating book. I thoroughly enjoyed my late-night sessions of almost throwing up in the bathroom while trying to read this book. However, now I am paranoid of everything and everyone, which explains the hazmat suit I'm wearing and the 30 page essay I wrote to the principal on why hazmat suits should be our school's uniform. Thanks to you, no one can touch me without me running away screaming "EBOLA! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!". I really appreciated this "enlightening" summer assignment. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go live the rest of my life in isolation. 

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tiny bit. But only a tiny bit.

Random funny story: Last year, my history teacher made us create a political cartoon. So I drew a picture of President Obama, declaring Ebola is nothing to fear. In front of a Ebola quarantine area. While wearing a hazmat suit. YUP NOTHING TO FEAR!

From my corner to yours, 

Jennifer Whyskers

P.S. I already started writing my letter to the principal on our uniforms. Hazmat suits should be mandatory.

GAH IM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!!!!

I've obsessed with this game called Agar.io. The problem is, it's frustrating me to no end. The point of the game is to eat smaller circles so you can get bigger. You start out really small and fast, and as you get bigger you get slower. And every time I start to get really big, some jerk decides to eat me! IT'S SO FRUSTRATING BUT ITS ADDICTING TOOOOOO!

Basically, if you have a really nice computer, don't play it. Cause you'll want to smash your computer.

Also, some of the names people pick to be are very hurtful and offensive. (I normally stick to Taylor Swift, cause who would want to eat Taylor Swift? Apparently EVERYBODY!) Some of them, on the other hand, are pretty funny. Like "Please don't eat me!" and then I eat them.

What's also really fun is that there is a team mode where you are assigned one of three colors- red, green, or blue. You then try to take over the playing field as a team. So you have allies that can help you not get eaten. (I still end up dying.)

You can also somehow input a skin for your circle, but I don't know how to do that. So don't ask me. I think you have to go through Facebook, but don't quote me on that.

So far my high score is 800-something. Take that! Just kidding, I'm sure you can totally beat me.

So, if you ever find yourself in need of something to do, try Agar.io! It's really fun and addicting. Once again: I would strongly advise you not to play on a nice computer in case you pull a Wreck-it-Ralph.

I'm gonna wreck my computer because this stupid game is frustrating me so much!

Anyway, have fun with Agar.io. Oh, and if you happen to see a Taylor Swift circle, please don't eat it! It's probably me. I'M JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE ON MY OWN!

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

P.S. USA IS GOING TO THE FINALS AGAINST JAPAN IN THE WOMEN'S WORLD CUP!!!!!!!