As part of my biology summer assignment, I have to read "The Hot Zone" by Richard Preston, which is about Ebola. Let me tell you, I'm barely twenty pages into this thing and it's already scaring me. The book describes in detail someone with the Marburg virus, which is like Ebola's less severe younger sibling. It is one of the grossest things I have ever read in my entire life, and I haven't even gotten to someone with Ebola yet.
If you're squeemish, stop reading NOW! Trust me. I'll let you know when you can come back.
This book describes a person on a plane with bruises all over his face. He then began to throw up "black vomit", which is basically blood with black flecks in it. It says he looked like he ate coffee grounds. The author describes the man's red, bulging eyes. It even describes the bag which the man threw up in!
Then, when the man gets to the hospital, the author describes how a doctor performs surgery on the man. It says the man's organs are liquefied, like the man was a living corpse. The really gross part is that the man throws up in the doctor's mouth. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
You can come back now. I'm done.
Thank you, biology teacher, for forcing me to read such a fascinating book. I thoroughly enjoyed my late-night sessions of almost throwing up in the bathroom while trying to read this book. However, now I am paranoid of everything and everyone, which explains the hazmat suit I'm wearing and the 30 page essay I wrote to the principal on why hazmat suits should be our school's uniform. Thanks to you, no one can touch me without me running away screaming "EBOLA! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!". I really appreciated this "enlightening" summer assignment. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go live the rest of my life in isolation.
Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tiny bit. But only a tiny bit.
Random funny story: Last year, my history teacher made us create a political cartoon. So I drew a picture of President Obama, declaring Ebola is nothing to fear. In front of a Ebola quarantine area. While wearing a hazmat suit. YUP NOTHING TO FEAR!
From my corner to yours,
Jennifer Whyskers
P.S. I already started writing my letter to the principal on our uniforms. Hazmat suits should be mandatory.
