Random Facts of Uselessness #10

I am really, really, really bad a consistent posts. Like I suck. I couldn't write consistently if my life depended on it.

Anyway...........

• Scientists hypothesize that for every inch a person is taller than 5 feet, they lose 1.3 years of their life. SEE THERE ARE PERKS TO BEING A LITTLE TIKE!
• In Utah, it is illegal to swear in front of a dead person. I get being respectful to the dead, but how is this enforced?
• What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is called an "English kiss" in France. If it's not French, and it's not English, than what is it? Disgusting!
• Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. What? Why? Heh?
• The average talker sprays about 300 microscopic saliva droplets per minute, anout 2.5 droplets per word. That is disgusting. Really disgusting. THIS IS HOW EBOLA SPREADS PEOPLE! (jk jk)

For some reason my signature picture won't come up on my computer so if it doesn't for you, I'm really sorry. I'm trying to fix it. Just bear with me. I can't remember how to fix the code.

It's Back to School Time!

I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN LIKE FOREVER AND EVER SINCE MY LAST POST BUT I'VE JUST BEEN SO BUSY! And lazy. And busy. But mostly lazy.

You know what angers me about going back to school? I've known the classes I'm in since mid-July and I've known which teachers I have since the beginning of August. Yet, my teachers decided not to give me their supply list till the first the day of school. >:(

Speaking of school, I start this week. And I'm actually really nervous for freshman year. High school here I come!

No but seriously. I'm usually always ready to go back to school. My schedule is normally memorized 15 minutes after I get it, and I've normally mapped out all my classes by the beginning of August. By the middle of August, my locker is organized and decorated.

This year? I can't tell you what my locker is, yet alone where it is.

It's true that since I'm a freshman I have no idea where anything is and it's not fair to expect me to know where my locker is. Except I went to this thingy where a senior showed me around to all my classes and had me open my locker. I could open it, thank god, but two seconds after I left it, I forgot where it was. Good job me!

I asked some of my high school friends where my locker is. They told me I'm in one of the senior hallways. Greaaaaaaaaat. (Total sarcasm there for those who didn't realize that.) It's also nowhere near any of my classes. Which I also don't know where they are either. This year is going to be great! suck.

My first day of school is a half day because it's freshman orientation. Hopefully after that I'll have a better understanding of what the heck I'm doing. Probably not though.

Ugh. My ankle hurts from soccer practice. Soccer has been a blessing and death. It's nice cause it gets me out of bed early so I'm semi-used to getting up at 5:30 (haha no I'm not) and I know some high school kids now that I can ask where the heck I'm supposed to be. But it hurts!

I just realized I only posted once in August. Wow I really suck.

I honestly can't promise how frequently I'll be able to post throughout the school year. It will probably be when I'm procrastinating cause I don't want to do my homework. Like I'm doing now..........

Just kidding. All the homework that is due the first day of school is done. I've accomplished something in the past three months.

I've also been kind of obsessed with gifs lately, and instead of just posting them in a list, I decided to be slightly humorous. So, here is how kids handle summer work, as told through gifs.


When your teacher tells you at the end of the school year you have summer work.

But it's summer! You're not supposed to have homework over the summer!

Then they hand out the summer work, and you realize it's so much work.

How am I expected to finish all of this in two and a half months? I have to get started now.

You get home, ready to start your homework to get it done as quickly as possible.

Yes! I'm going to be done by July!

Then this happens.

You get kidnapped by the internet.

By the end of July, you still haven't touched your homework.

The internet hasn't let you out of its grasp.

Your mom asks if you've started your homework.

Um........ no?

At the start of August, part of your brain panics cause you only have a month left.

The rest of your brain tells you to chill. You have plenty of time!

All your friends want to know if you've started that math assignment because they want to compare answers.

Yeah, haven't started yet.

The week before school starts, you really begin to panic.

Crap! I forgot about my summer homework! I haven't even started!

You quickly jump on your computer to frantically write that essay required.

There are so many spelling errors, you make sure to attach a red pen on the paper for the teacher.

You wish you could this:

How else am I supposed to read a 500 page book in a week?

You then realize why your friends asked for help.

We didn't learn this! How am I expected to know how to do this? Oh God, I'm not going to finish.

Your computer begins to lag from all of your frantic typing and searches.

No, this can't be happening!

When you finish an assignment, you feel like a weight was lifted off your shoulders.

One down, 5 more to go!

You're done! You can finally take a sigh of relief.

Thank God I finished! I am never doing this again.

After staying up all night to finish your homework, you crash.

Zzzzzzzz......

You tell yourself you are never waiting to do your homework last minute again. Yeah, that never happens. 

FYI: I did exaggerate a ton with this. I did not do this. However, I do know people who waited till the week before school (AKA, now) to do their summer homework. I was smarter than that. Go me!

Happy back to school! Said no student ever.

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

I'm Addicted to Tic-Tacs

I have braces. Which means no sticky substances, which includes gum. I love gum. Whenever I'm in the car, I'll have a piece of gum (sugar free of course). It's just something nice to chew on to occupy my mouth. It also leaves you with nice smelling breath.

Of course then when I got my braces, it was a little difficult to give up my beloved gum. I needed to find something to replace the gum I normally chew in the car.

What is the solution to that? Tic-tacs. 

I got a large container of fruity tic-tacs for Easter, which I got addicted to. I finished the container in about a week. Whenever I sit near my container, I have to take some. It's really sad actually. My mom keeps tic-tacs in the car for me, and it's very hard to restrain myself from eating the entire container.

Weirdly, I'm not a big fan of the mint tic-tacs, so I don't eat as many of those. But the fruity ones, forget it.

I also get really protective of my tic-tacs. Once I had a party with some friends and two of them decided to help themselves to my tic-tacs. Which is fine, but they took a handful each. I yelled at them for it. They haven't taken my tic-tacs without my consent since.

The only good thing about being obsessed with tic-tacs is that the containers make great bobby pin holders. Just wrap them in some duct tape and voila! A bobby pin container. Oh, and my breath is always fruity fresh.

And mentos. I'm kinda-sorta addicted to mentos too. Not as bad as my mom though. When she needed her crown on her tooth fixed, she couldn't chew gum either. So she bought mentos. Problem is, she'd eat an entire sleeve in one sitting. I'd eat one or two, and my mom would eat the rest. Good thing she doesn't drink soda anymore. 

From my corner to yours.

Jennifer Whyskers

P.S. I'm eating orange tic-tacs as we speak. Or, as I write and you read.

Random Facts of Uselessness #9

Wow. I haven't posted in forever. Sorry folks. I just got back from my lovely vacation and now I have to go back to school shopping.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crudpickles, it's really thundering currently as I'm writing this. As if I haven't gotten enough rain already. Can we please send some rain to California? They desperately need rain out there.

Where was I going with this post? Oh yes, the facts.

• The strongest human muscle in proportion to its size is the tongue. One tongue curl, two tongue curls... 100!
• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps blood out into the body to squirt blood 30 feet. Who needs water guns when you have your heart?
• All porcupines float in water. Sorry, nothing witty to say about that. I do have a video of adorable baby hedgehogs sneezing to show you! Not exactly porcupines, but still adorable!

• Rats and horses can't vomit. Ummm, that's, uh, weird.
• Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. I'm sure there are a whole bunch of witty things I could say about that one, but I don't have the patience right now to actually use my brain. Hehe.

By the way, the n, h, y, and u keys on my keyboard sometimes refuse to work. I'm literally left sitting there repeatedly pressing the keys like:

Function. Function. Function. Function. Function. FUNCTION!!!!! I JUST WANT AN H IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!

Now the j key won't work. KENOFENOWSDNKFJOEANBGSOIALJHABIGKJENPODSHIFK!!!!!!

Little fyi for you. Whenever I talk in jibberish (see above ^) I'm either really excited, or really angry. Guess which one I am right now? >:(

Oh, and sometimes when I view my blog, my photos won't load. Now that's frustrating.

Wow, I have no idea what just happened. Like I started writing this with an idea in mind, and then I just let my thoughts and fingers run wild. It started out good, then it thundered. I then got it back on track just to end me ranting about my stupid keyboard and blog photos. Eh, whatever.

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

Why do I Have to Read a Book on Ebola? WHY????

I am so done with my summer homework.

As part of my biology summer assignment, I have to read "The Hot Zone" by Richard Preston, which is about Ebola. Let me tell you, I'm barely twenty pages into this thing and it's already scaring me. The book describes in detail someone with the Marburg virus, which is like Ebola's less severe younger sibling. It is one of the grossest things I have ever read in my entire life, and I haven't even gotten to someone with Ebola yet.

If you're squeemish, stop reading NOW! Trust me. I'll let you know when you can come back.

This book describes a person on a plane with bruises all over his face. He then began to throw up "black vomit", which is basically blood with black flecks in it. It says he looked like he ate coffee grounds. The author describes the man's red, bulging eyes. It even describes the bag which the man threw up in! 

Then, when the man gets to the hospital, the author describes how a doctor performs surgery on the man. It says the man's organs are liquefied, like the man was a living corpse. The really gross part is that the man throws up in the doctor's mouth. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

You can come back now. I'm done.

Thank you, biology teacher, for forcing me to read such a fascinating book. I thoroughly enjoyed my late-night sessions of almost throwing up in the bathroom while trying to read this book. However, now I am paranoid of everything and everyone, which explains the hazmat suit I'm wearing and the 30 page essay I wrote to the principal on why hazmat suits should be our school's uniform. Thanks to you, no one can touch me without me running away screaming "EBOLA! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!". I really appreciated this "enlightening" summer assignment. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go live the rest of my life in isolation. 

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tiny bit. But only a tiny bit.

Random funny story: Last year, my history teacher made us create a political cartoon. So I drew a picture of President Obama, declaring Ebola is nothing to fear. In front of a Ebola quarantine area. While wearing a hazmat suit. YUP NOTHING TO FEAR!

From my corner to yours, 

Jennifer Whyskers

P.S. I already started writing my letter to the principal on our uniforms. Hazmat suits should be mandatory.

GAH IM SO FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!!!!

I've obsessed with this game called Agar.io. The problem is, it's frustrating me to no end. The point of the game is to eat smaller circles so you can get bigger. You start out really small and fast, and as you get bigger you get slower. And every time I start to get really big, some jerk decides to eat me! IT'S SO FRUSTRATING BUT ITS ADDICTING TOOOOOO!

Basically, if you have a really nice computer, don't play it. Cause you'll want to smash your computer.

Also, some of the names people pick to be are very hurtful and offensive. (I normally stick to Taylor Swift, cause who would want to eat Taylor Swift? Apparently EVERYBODY!) Some of them, on the other hand, are pretty funny. Like "Please don't eat me!" and then I eat them.

What's also really fun is that there is a team mode where you are assigned one of three colors- red, green, or blue. You then try to take over the playing field as a team. So you have allies that can help you not get eaten. (I still end up dying.)

You can also somehow input a skin for your circle, but I don't know how to do that. So don't ask me. I think you have to go through Facebook, but don't quote me on that.

So far my high score is 800-something. Take that! Just kidding, I'm sure you can totally beat me.

So, if you ever find yourself in need of something to do, try Agar.io! It's really fun and addicting. Once again: I would strongly advise you not to play on a nice computer in case you pull a Wreck-it-Ralph.

I'm gonna wreck my computer because this stupid game is frustrating me so much!

Anyway, have fun with Agar.io. Oh, and if you happen to see a Taylor Swift circle, please don't eat it! It's probably me. I'M JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE ON MY OWN!

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

P.S. USA IS GOING TO THE FINALS AGAINST JAPAN IN THE WOMEN'S WORLD CUP!!!!!!! 

Random Facts of Uselessness #8

I've been thrown into this vicious sleep cycle. Every day, I can't sleep until about one in the morning. Then I wake up at nine or ten. Later on, at about four in the afternoon, I find myself so fatigued that I have to take a nap. Then, I can't sleep. Problem is, I'm too lazy to do anything about it.

Hello everyone! It's been a while, hasn't it?

• Banging your head against the wall burns about 150 calories per hour. What about a desk?
• When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. How does that even work? Like is their sweat magically psychic or something?
• You will produce enough saliva in your lifetime to fill two swimming pools. Um, gross? Certainly not looking forward to jumping in that refreshing pool.
• About 8,000 Americans are injured by musical instruments. Good thing I no longer play the flute.
• A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale. What? You should see the face I'm making right now typing this. It looks something like this:
  

Have fun spreading those facts around the world!

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

So...... I'm Valedictorian... (And don't you dare delete my pictures)

Hello!

I found out about this a while ago but I've just been too "busy" (AKA, lazy) to actually type this out. But today I decided to because I don't want to clean my room either.

Anyway, on Monday, I will be graduating from middle school. I also, as the title says, am valedictorian. Was I shocked? Not necessarily. I've always had straight A's, so I always felt I had a shot at being valedictorian. There was one other boy who I thought might win it because he also was on the high honor roll for most of the year. What was really surprising was that boy didn't win salutatorian. My friend did. Not that my friend isn't smart, she is. I just expected it to be the other boy. (Girl power right here: All four years that I've been in middle school, both the valedictorian and salutatorian of the graduating classes were girls.)

The sucky part? I have to write a speech. And say that speech at graduation. Basically my friend and I FaceTimed each other and complained how we didn't want to write the speech to procrastinate actually writing the speech. Ugh.

But, because I'm a nerd, I included Harry Potter quotes in my speech. I also tried to add tiny bits of humor so it's not boring. I really don't think I succeeded, but whatever.

While trying to write my speech, I contacted one of my friends who was valedictorian last year. She told me to remember that my speech should pretty much say, "Whelp, it was fun while it lasted, but I hate you all and good luck with the rest of your lives." I didn't say that, by the way.

The best part of being valedictorian? I hold the power. Since the valedictorian speech is at the end, I am the reason that people can't leave and go home to their nice houses. Basically, you better be nice to me, or I'll just keep rambling on for hours. Hehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On an unrelated note, I'm annoyed at my high school. They expect us to get our summer homework offline, but don't give us our schedules to know what classes we need to get the homework from. Logic.

Also unrelated: I got really annoyed at someone the other day. He was looking at a picture off my phone. When he gave it back to me, I realized he deleted most of my pictures. He told me he just deleted some useless selfies and pictures. Um, I'm sorry, but my pictures of Taylor Swift are not useless! Then, he had the audacity to say she sucks. >:( Oh my god did I want to kill him. Thank god I have iOS 8 so I can recover deleted pictures. Oh, and I'm sorry, it's my phone, don't you dare delete my pictures. It's one thing if it's a picture of just you, but pictures of me in DC with my friends? Seriously? He's lucky I had to leave, because I would have strangled him. KABJLEFRHKJABKKLHRBJLERGFKHFJEH!

That's my rage right there. I write jibberish when I'm really excited, or really, really, REALLY angry. Guess which one I am right now.

Wow, I ended way off topic. Guess that's what happens sometimes.

From my corner of the world to yours,

Now We Have Bad Blood for Centuries

If you haven't figured it out yet, I really, really, REALLY like Taylor Swift. Also, I am kind of obsessed with Fall Out Boy. Not once did I think, "Would it sound good if they just happened to be mashed together?" because I thought that their styles wouldn't mesh well. Taylor is poppy and upbeat, while Fall Out Boy is a little more rock and roll. Those won't blend well. Wrong.

Enter Bad Blood vs. Centuries. How did I survive without this? That's right, I didn't. I have died and gone to music heaven. And the genius who came up with this? Genius. The songs fit so perfectly it's like they were made for each other. I'm obsessed with Taylor mashups at the moment and this one is by far my favorite. Now, someone needs to put Centuries to the tune of Bad Blood and see how it fits. I bet you it's amazing. I'll go as far to say I'll bet you five bucks it's amazing.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

I probably should have seen this coming. I mean, Victoria Secret Fashion Show anyone?

Best performance EVER!!!!!!!! They need to team up more often. 

Also, this is kind of adorable. :)

Now the only thing that would make this better is if Taylor performed the Bad Blood mashup with Fall Out Boy at my graduation party. Too much? Hey, a girl can dream.

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

I'm Back!

I am a terrible, horrible person, because I've been home for almost a week now, and I still haven't posted anything. I'm so sorry! *crawls into corner and sobs*

Hello everyone!

I'm happy to say I made it back safely from my trip to D.C., and it was AMAZING! I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was so much fun! I got to see several different monuments, museums, and government buildings (My favorite was probably the Franklin Delano Roosevelt memorial. Even though it rained while I was there.)

I honestly don't know how to describe my trip, so I'm just going to list all the places I went. Maybe with pictures. If I'm not too lazy. Hehe. And they may not be in the right order. I'm just going to list the ones I remember.

• Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial. This was by far my favorite. It had four "rooms" that represented his four terms as president of the United States. It was so beautiful and serene.

• Arlington National Cemetery. I'm pretty sure there was a funeral going on somewhere in the cemetery because I kept hearing gun shots.
• The White House. Duh. (We only saw the outside. We couldn't go in it.)
• The Capital Building. I actually took a tour inside and got a glimpse of the speaker of the house, John Boehner. Just a teeny tiny glimpse. But still cool. Also, the dome was under construction, so we couldn't see the entire thing. Bummer.

Can you find George Washington in the picture? Look hard! If you find it, put in the comments where he is.

• The Vietnam Memorial. My uncle who Taylor Swift reminds me of was in the Vietnam war. He didn't die in the war though.

The idea for the memorial was the result of a contest. The winner designed the wall. Originally, the Vietnam veterans hated the memorial design because it was black while the other monuments were white. The veterans thought it would be perceived that the Vietnam war was a negative thing. However, when it was built, they realized that you can see your reflection in the wall, representing those people's families who sacrificed for the war too.

• The Korean War Memorial

There are 19 statues, which are reflected in the black wall to make 38 soldiers in total. This represents the 38th parallel, or the line that divides North and South Korea.

• WWII Memorial. This was probably my second-favorite memorial, mostly because of what happened during WWII. My tour guide kept going on about how this was one of the greatest times in American history, whereas I can't consider WWII to be a good time in anyone's history because of what happened in Germany and the Holocaust. 

• Martin Luther King Memorial.
• Smithsonian Natural History Museum. The Hope Diamond is both gorgeous and cursed.

• Smithsonian American History Museum. I got to see Dorothy's ruby slippers! I actually had a pair when I was younger, but they got glitter everywhere so I donated them.

• Lincoln Memorial. Good old Abraham Lincoln. What a great president. Also in that memorial is a marker of where Martin Luther King gave his "I Had a Dream" speech.

• Jefferson Memorial

There is probably more, but I'm too lazy to actually put my brain to use. It continues to sit on my dresser as I refuse to bring it to school with me. 

The other thing I learned while in our nation's capital is that I'm a pizza snob. But I already knew that. And there are no good memes for pizza snobs. Get on that internet.

From my corner of the world to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers

Can't Contain Excitement

Guess what?

I'M GOING TO D.C.!!!!! It's my school trip this year. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to spend three days with three of my best friends touring our nation's capital, stuffing our faces with candy, and jamming out to R5's new songs. :)

I also can't wait for school to end. Like now. My school year ends on the 22 of June. THE 22 OF FLIPPING JUNE! I am so done with school now. Like I used to have bad days and normal days. Now they're practically all bad.

Something amusing did happen today in school. My geometry class had to take a high school math placement test last week even though we took it last year. My math teacher from the high school, however, didn't want us to take it. Plus she has to grade them. So not only does she have to grade the algebra kids' tests, she has to grade ours. Also, normally the multiple choice are scored on a special form that can be run through the computer, which grades them. However, my class had to fill out a photocopy, which has to be hand scored. 100 questions times 25 kids equals a ton of unnecessary work.

Basically my teacher told me she's shredding them. Fine by me.

Apparently, however, it's not fine with my principal, who wants the scores to improve the seventh grade algebra class. Kinda hard to do when they're shredded.

I have no idea if my principal called my math teacher in time, or if our tests are sitting in a pile at the bottom of the shredder. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I just thought that was funny. I honestly hope they got shredded. That's what my school gets for lack of communication.

Ugh. I still have to pack for my trip. We leave early Wednesday morning and get back Friday afternoon. So I still have some time to pack, but knowing me I'll wait till the last minute like always.

And Pretty Little Liars comes back tomorrow. I NEED TO KNOW WHO CHARLES IS NOOOOW!

Who is this? I NEED TO KNOW MARLENE KING!

From my corner to yours,
Jennifer Whyskers

I Think Fearless is Having Fears but Jumping Anyway

I don't know how they did this, but someone was a genius and made moving polaroids.

Hello everyone!

I've been having a throwback obsession with Taylor at the moment. For some reason, I can't stop listening to "Sad Beautiful Tragic" from her Red album. It's amazing and the lyrics are so pretty.

Now I've probably said this before, but I don't care if you don't like Taylor's music. That's completely fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion on music. Like, I don't care for Austin Mahone. I can't even tell you what I don't like about him. I just don't particularly care for him. 

However, the instant you complain about how Taylor is a crazy girlfriend who dates too many guys, that's where I draw the line. You're getting into very dangerous waters there. I would advise you to swim as quickly as possible away from there. Because that would be one argument you would lose. Guaranteed.

There was one time in school where one boy said something about Taylor's many boyfriends. Let's just say it didn't go down too well for him.

Pretty Much.

Now, I'm not a huge fan of Miley either. She's okay. But this quote kind of slays the haters. 

Hehe. This is completely random I know. But it came up when I search for Taylor Swift for some reason and I thought it was funny. Hehe.

If you get that, you are my new best friend.

Wait. What was this post about again? Ummmmmmmmmm............................ I guess you can say I am a very random human being. Tee Hee.

Basically I just searched a bunch of random stuff on the internet because I was bored and put them into a post. Hee hee

Sorry for being so random today. I felt like it.

From my corner to yours
Jennifer Whyskers

Random Facts of Uselessness #7

Hello!

I haven't done one of these in a very, very, VERY long time. So, here. : )

• More than 86,000 people are injured by tripping over their cats or dogs every year in the United States. What can I say? We live in a country of klutzes. 
• Elephant brains can weigh up to 5 kg (11 lb), more than the brain of any other animal. Umm, whoa. 
  
• Tigers are the only predators known to regularly feed on adult bears. Fierce.
• In 2006, an Australian man tried to sell New Zealand on Ebay. Nice try dude, but I don't think that's going to work.
• Cows emit more methane than the oil industry and are a huge factor in global warming. Although, I would rather cut down oil than cows. I couldn't live without hamburgers.

Who knew an elephant's brain was that big? Or that the United States was so uncoordinated? Believe me, I have hurt myself several times by tripping over my dog. Count me in that 86,000 please.

From my corner to yours,

Jennifer Whyskers